The Worst films I Saw in 2014

I feel like I saw a lot of mediocre movies this year but not a great deal of truly terrible ones. In making this list I decided to opt for only theatrically released movies, and something that surprised me a little was how heavy on comedies it was. Honestly though, only the top two films on this list were definites for me, the rankings are fairly arbitrary for the others.

10. Pompeii

pompeii 2014

While I don’t care for most of his movies, I generally think Paul W.S. Anderson gets far more hate than he deserves. Not so with the case of Pompeii through, a shockingly poor disaster epic that attempts to rip-off both Gladiator and Titanic simultaneously. Plus it contains probably the most ridiculous examples of tailoring violence for a PG-13 rating yet. My Review.

09. Walk of Shame

walk-of-shame

An idiotic reporter stumbles around LA in this terrible comedy that bases itself entirely around one joke that isn’t even funny in the first place. My Short Review.

08. That Awkward Moment

that-awkward-moment

A horrible comedy that could have been a serious bump in the road for up-and-coming actors Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan. This douche-bro centred rom-com packs itself out with clichés and vulgarity and seems staggeringly unaware of how unlikable its obnoxious leads are. My Short Review.

07, Blended

Blended

Adam Sandler seems like too easy a target, he’s a regular fixture on ‘worst movie’ lists and I usually just don’t bother watching his films any more, I hadn’t seen one since Funny People in 2009. Other than Punch-Drunk Love, the only Sandler film I actually like is 1998’s The Wedding Singer, and seeing as this was coming from the same team a cautiously decided to watch it. I shouldn’t have, it’s awful, it’s lazy, it’s overlong, it’s not remotely funny and rather troubling in its depiction of Africa. I can’t even remember what the basic story was now.

06. Transformers: Age of Extinction

Transformers-Age-of-Extinction

The behemoth that is the Transformers film series continues with this atrociously written, terribly acted and agonizingly long fourth instalment. We know it’s rubbish, Michael Bay knows it’s rubbish, but the kids are still packing out the theatres. I genuinely worry if today’s kids are going to grow up and revere these films the way eighties kids do with the likes of Top Gun. Special mentions go to Nicola Peltz and Jack Reynor for delivering the two worst performances of the year. My Review.

05: Left Behind

left behind

Oh Nicolas Cage why? Well we know why, but his year started out so well with a return to form in Joe, yet ended with this, the possible nadir for him. Honestly it sounded like a joke when I first read the Cage was going to be staring in a bigger budgeted reboot of the straight-to-video Christian apocalypse themed Left Behind series. When the film turned out to be real, I thought that it would surely have some unintentional comedy value but alas, it’s just overwhelmingly tedious.

04. The Other Woman

the other woman

Another dire movie from The Notebook director Nick Cassavetes, this witless comedy finds three women realising that they’re all sleeping with the same man, and decide to enact revenge on him in a variety of juvenile ways. The only real distinction that The Other Woman can claim is despite having 3 female leads it still somehow fails the Bechdel Test. We need more female-centred films in the cinema, but not like this.

03. Sex Tape

sex tape

It certainly hasn’t been a good year for Cameron Diaz, Her second appearance in this list is for this idiotic ‘sex comedy’ that’s neither sexy not funny. A colossally stupid movie that includes so much shameless product placement that it’s practically a feature-length advert for one particular item. My Review.

02. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014

There wasn’t a lot of hope that a new reboot of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would be any good in the first place, but somehow this vile movie made bafflingly awful decisions at every turn of its approach. I exited the cinema just feeling angry at myself for having financially contributed to its success. My Review.

01. God’s Not Dead

god not dead

When I first heard about this preposterous tirade of a film earlier in the year I was left with a morbid curiosity to see it just to judge if it was as outrageous as it sounded. When I finally got a chance to see it, it was somehow even more offensively terrible than I had imagined, and inspired me to award my first ever zero star rating since starting this blog. My Review.

Dishonourable Mentions go to: Dracula Untold, Tusk, Very Good Girls, Rage, Let’s Be Cops, Tammy, Annabelle, The Inbetweeners 2, A Million Ways to Die in the West, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, 3 Days to Kill

Biggest Disappointments:

transcendence 2

01. Transcendence – a year ago this looked like it could have been the next Inception, it turned out to be more like the next Johnny Mnemonic. My Review

02. Sabotage – again, a film that sounded like I’d really enjoy it on paper, turned out to be grim, incoherent mess. My Review

03. Devil’s Knot – the combination of director Atom Egoyan and the shocking and fascinating West Memphis Three case should surely have made for a compelling drama – it didn’t. My Review

Most Overrated Films:

The_Fault_in_our_Stars

01. The Fault in Our Stars – A dreary, occasionally manipulative cancer-themed teen romance that shamelessly attempts to draw tears – it’s more likely to draw snores. My Review

02. Bad Neighbours – The second occasion this year when Zac Efron has played a truly hateful character the film-makers somehow expect to endear you too, plus the single most sickeningly misjudged joke in any movie this year. My Review

03. Only Lovers Left Alive – Jim Jarmusch packs a lot of good ideas into this vampire drama but it’s eventless-ness and underlying sense of arrogance left me baffled as to why many critics hailed it as one of the year’s best. My Review

 

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